Should I divorce (khula) or move on??? Pls suggest

Should I divorce (khula) or move on??? Pls suggest

Postby muneeranaz » Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:11 am

0 Salams Its been almost 4 years i am married. Its personal but i need a solution to this. In early marriage my husband and i shared a good relationship but gradually i realized he is moving away from me. He dislikes sitting close to me or even touching me. We have no physical intimacy past one year. on the other hand he is loitering out and also clubbing. He never takes me out anywhere. i live in a joint family. I have always obeyed whatever he ordered me to do so. (wearing abaya, no makeup etc).Stil he never wills to even sit close by my side. I feel so neglected in this matter. I suspect he is having an extra marital affair. I got this info from an anonymous person. He says this is not true but his behaviour in this matter does make me suspect he is cheating on me and he has no love for me. I have always been loyal to him.THESE 4 years i have gone through so much which is unbearable for me to go on like this. So i want to know i can divorce him in ths matter. pls help me out and answer at your earliest convienince.
muneeranaz
 
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Re: Should I divorce (khula) or move on??? Pls suggest

Postby mikejm2 » Sun Nov 10, 2013 9:56 pm

maybe he has just taken a second wife? you need to stop complaining and be an obedient wife. do what your wali tells you and stop making trouble. jk. sounds like you husband is a jerk. see if he'll talk to you about your concerns. and if not then divorce seems like your only course of action.
mikejm2
 
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Re: Should I divorce (khula) or move on??? Pls suggest

Postby abyadgirl » Mon Nov 11, 2013 3:30 am

Asalaam o alaikum, sister, my first thought is, how much do you love him, what are you prepared to do for him? Evaluate this first. Then think about what it would be like if you were divorced. Have you any children?
A suggestion, is to spice things up. Get back to when you first met. A man loves to come home to a beautiful women, ready and attentive for him. Food is always a good way of seducing a man too.
But if all this fails and he is getting further away from you, then if he will not talk to you, or change his ways on this matter, think hard again, and consult Allah. Make Istikarah, many duas and ask for Allahs help, in your self and for your husband. Invariably, it could be a phase he is going through. It maybe that he will return to you again with a true heart and become loving again. Patience here is valid and perseverance is needed too. So have these virtues and be that beautiful women and win him back, for the sake of Allah.
If the signs come that divorce is inevitable, then do it.
abyadgirl
 
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